Forty-five. Forty-five days till settlement and yet no solidified plan. In forty-five days or less if settlement gets bumped up, which oddly enough I am hoping for, I will be houseless.
I do know there will be no RV, as originally assumed. No, it would appear that “plan” was eliminated. I went from,”Okay, God, we will sell the house and go where you say to go…via an RV, yes I like THAT plan!” That WAS the plan, the plan I was good with, but in actuality that was God’s way of luring me out of my comfortable, safe, and stable home – not to mention beloved rose garden while purging me from my junk, both literal and spiritual. After all, it was an adventure for God, right? Still is an adventure for God, but it is certainly not looking the way I envisioned. Oh no, it is far scarier and more uncomfortable than I ever imagined. Had I known, I probably would have opted for safe, convenient, and comfortable. Just keeping it real. In fact, I suspect God’s plan is to literally scare the hell out of me. Not to torment me, but to empower me in His Spirit. You have heard Jesus specializes in setting us free from our fears, haven’t you? All hell has broken loose since committing to “God’s plans”, but miraculously I am learning to have peace, to choose grace, and to quell fear. I confess I have not consistently passed and feel as though the final exam of all that I have learned spiritually the past three years is coming to a head. Nevertheless, I press on.
Sure, I have no real plan. Nothing lined up. Didn’t even realize I prefer plans till it became grossly evident there is no plan. All I know for certain at this point is I am moving out of my house of ten years while significantly downsizing and learning to let go. Let go of my stuff and my plans. Through it all, the Lord tenderly invites me to remove my idols in exchange for the ongoing revelation of my identity in Him. Within this treacherous road, each passing day presents an opportunity of transformation. A death and resurrection.
Alas, while sitting here with no definitive plan and no details worked out for certain, I am realizing He isn’t an “on-time God” as the old gospel song goes because if He was, we’d have a timely plan by now! Ha! Rather, He is more of a last-minute God, but then again I suppose that is on-time in God’s realm. One thing I can testify for certain: God’s plan is a process. Albeit a difficult one to flow in at times, but a prerequisite, nevertheless.
I keep hearing Him say, “You ARE the plan.”, and yet I have no idea what that even means…Perhaps He isn’t a “last-minute God”. Perhaps I am just a “last-minute” follower.